tattookink:

when you at a family event and somebody say ‘all the boys gone be chasing after you’

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policedog:

imagine if people screamed instead of snored

himelistic:

why do girls have fake pockets when guys can fit a laptop in theirs 

i have the best taste in clothes im just too poor to prove it

(Source: fuckyeahpooping)

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perfumeandpancakes:

ellen degeneres can host my funeral